if truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?

I wish I had more interesting hair.

It's brown, it's strait, and it ends up looking exactly the same...

whether or not I do anything to it or not.

Here are some styles I wish I could pull off:

The Marie Antionette:
Or as I like to call it the "Don't Sit Behind This Bitch"
It may seem a little outdated, but history repeats itself so get over it. Once you've mastered this style, the possibilities are endless. I mean think about it, if you can make the top of your head look like some over-styled poodle, then whose to say there is anything you can't do. Once I master this one I'm running for Vice President.

The Spindle:

Or as I like to call it the "Easy Access to Richard Gere's Anus"
If you wanted a hampster to crawl into your butt, you would (ideally) use one of those cardboard tubes that come under your toilet paper/paper towels. Who wouldn't want apply the same principal to their hairstyle! This is one of those styles that screams "Put The Animal Directly Into My Brain Because it's a MUCH Longer Journey From the Anus". Can't go wrong with that.

The Bright Idea:

Or as I like to call it the "One Anus is Not Enough"

This look shows that there's little to no brain activity going on inside that skull of yours. Which is totally in right now. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the entire world had this 'do tomorrow. It's for the person on the go...and by on the go I mean they really have to go. They don't have time to tell you the reason they're running. Once they run past you, you'll already know. Who knew a hairstyle could be stylish and alert the general public that you love pooping?

The "Bird's Nest":

Or as I like to call it the "We Are Boning Tonight"
If I could pull this hairstyle off, I would be seeing more action than the backseat of Todd Palin's snow mobile. Probably the most sexual hairstyle that has ever been created. It's hard to put the feelings I'm feeling into words right now because they are mostly feelings in my pants. Delish!

More to come...