12.18.2008

Wait You Named Your Son Hitler? Seriously?

I thought that celebrities were the only ones that went out of their way to give their children ridiculous names (and major issues to go along with them), but this week a couple in New Jersey showed me that regular people can fuck up their children just as easily as celebrities can! This couple named their son Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Yes, that is correct, Adolf Hitler. Apparently when asked why they chose that particular moniker they responded something along the lines of 'no one else will ever have the name'. What they really meant was 'we are not only anti-Semitic, racist and immortalizing a monster, but we also want our son to have to explain why his name is litterally Hitler for the rest of his life. No one else has the name Jizz McSmegma either (actually people are pretty nuts, so I cant' say that 100%, but I'm pretty confident its at least 97.4% true), but that still doesn't make it a good reason to name your child that.

But anyway, I'm rambling. The reason that these terrible parents came to be in the news is because Little Hitler turned 3 this month and they wanted their NJ Shop-Rite to write "Happy Birthday Adolf Hilter" on his birthday cake. Shop-Rite basically was like 'bitch you crazy if you think we're writing that shit on a delicious sheet cake'. So what did Mr. and Mrs. Crazy do to make sure little Adolf got his cake on...they went to WAL-MART, of course!! Wal-Mart does not discriminate, even if you are a crazy racist. This is why Wal-Mart is so popular/successful: no matter how much of an asshole you are, Wal-Mart can meet your needs!

These kids now can say "At least I'm not named Adolf Hitler" when they are made fun of:

  • Pilot Inspektor Lee (Jason Lee's son)
  • Bronx Mowgli Wentz (Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson's son)
  • Moon Unit Zappa (Frank Zappa)
  • Jermagesty Jackson (Jermaine Jackson's son)
  • Bluebell Madonna (Ginger Spice's daughter)
  • Kyd Duchovny (David Duchovny & Tea Leoni's son)

Who knew that Gweneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple, would end up with one of the most normal names of new-Hollywood?

1 comment:

  1. Jill, really love what you've done with the blog. And I can't believe they named their kid that. It's actually illegal in Germany to name your kid Adolf much less Adolf Hitler. But yeah Hollywood has completely gone off the deep end with the asinine names. Love the blog though and thank you for commenting on mine, I'm actually going to continue to blog even though the class I started it for is over. It's good writing practice and actually fun. But anyway come to JMU soooon so you can play! ASA misses youuuu!

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