New Years resolutions are stupid.
Here are some resolutions
that are more likely for me to keep,
than the typical stop smoking,
loose weight,
stop being such a cry baby
bitch resolutions that everyone makes every year:
- Make it into an issue of Sports Illustrated
- Find an ride a real live dinosaur
- Prove that Chickens and Eggs were both created at the same time
- Petition a bill that forces all sex offenders who don't have moustaches to get one and all men who have moustaches that are not sex offenders shave them off
- Get so drunk that I urinate actual vodka
- Start a band called "DUI and the Hubcaps"
- Devote myself to any religion
Happy New Year!
No comments:
Post a Comment